Christmas is in TWO DAYS OMG it has gone by so fast this year it didnt help that I had to move so I really didnt get to enjoy it I had to rush to do everything. Next year is going to be different since we will be in the house for a year. James and Wendy made in last night, they are staying with amanda, the girls were going to take the kids to go see the new alvin and the chipmonks today and I was going to go but I have been up most of the night not feeling good at all kind of bummbed out but I dont want to sit in a movie with an upset stomach! I have to wrap Elijah gifts still but I got everyone else's gifts wrapped last night so I guess I will work on his tonight. I really need to the laundry so I am going to go lay back down for a bit and then hopefully I will feel some what better to get some stuff done around the house. I really hope everyone likes what I got them. I feel bad because I thought I got amanda more then I did but last night when I was wrapping I realized I only got her like 7 things she is the easiest one to by so I can go over board on her LOL I guess I decided to save some for her birthday. Me and Thomas decided not to buy for each other this year and it is killing me!!! So I am ready for his birthday so I can spoil him (:
Well going to go eat something starting to feel hungry...
I HOPE ALL OF YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Been Thinking...
I have had so many thoughts going threw my head latley and it is driving me crazy! some are good thoughts and well others not so good. I just wish what do about things in my life from my hubby to well everything. Latley my son has been driving me insane and so i snap at him over the smallest of things and then I feel horribel and cry because he really didnt do anything wrong it just me. Same with Thomas I just have been so snappy and really have no reason to be... Ugh I really hope i figure out what my deal is soon I hate when i feel like this...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Today...
Today was a pretty good day so far. Got my laundry done I just need to fold and put it up and I am going to do that tonight while little man is in the bath. I dont know whats wrong with me but I have not been sleeping good and I even take sleeping pills so I am zombie during the day so today I layed down for 2 hours and never went to sleep which was really annoying but i felt rested when I got up. I better get some sleep tonight I have a lot to do tomorrow lets see got to do some grocery shopping and the going to do some wrapping and then going over to my moms and help her with her tree since she still has not put it up and christmas is next week. She is being a slacker this year when I was a kid she would have the tree up the day after Thanksgiving!! She has been sick so I am going to be an awesome daughter and go help her. Thomas is working his 16 hrs today so I wont see him till tomorrow afternoon. Then I am going to Amanda's this weekend we have an hair appoinment on friday and then saturday we are going to do some wrapping she has a crap load to wrap! She is so much better at wrapping then me but it is fun sitting there and just catching up with each other. Oh and her brother will be in town so it will be good to see him I didnt get to see him when he was down for Thanksgiving. Well that is all for now. Have a good day everyone!!!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
An Adventure With Grandma
An Adventure With Grandma
I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was
just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to
visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There
is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"
My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled
to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.
I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the
truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed
with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. I knew they
were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be
true.
Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between
bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No
Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it.
That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes
me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished
my second world-famous, cinnamon bun.
"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one
store in town that had a little bit of just about every-
thing. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me
ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. 'Take this
money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs
it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and
walked out of Kerby's.
I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with
my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by
myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people
scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few
moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-
dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to
buy it for.
I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my
neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my
church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly
thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and
messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's
grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew
that because he never went out or recess during the winter.
His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he
had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't
have a cough, and he didn't have a coat. I fingered the
ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby
Decker a coat!
I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It
looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a
Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter
asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes," I re-
lied shyly. "It's .... for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at
me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag
and wished me a Merry Christmas.
That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas
paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and
Grandma tucked it in her Bible) and write, "To Bobby, From
Santa Claus" on it -- Grandma said that Santa always
insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's
house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever
officially one of Santa's helpers.
Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and
she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his
front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa
Claus," she whispered, "get going."
I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the
present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back
to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited
breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.
Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent
shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.
That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa
Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous.
Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.
I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95.
Anonymous
I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was
just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to
visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There
is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"
My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled
to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.
I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the
truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed
with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. I knew they
were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be
true.
Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between
bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No
Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it.
That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes
me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished
my second world-famous, cinnamon bun.
"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one
store in town that had a little bit of just about every-
thing. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me
ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. 'Take this
money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs
it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and
walked out of Kerby's.
I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with
my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by
myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people
scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few
moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-
dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to
buy it for.
I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my
neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my
church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly
thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and
messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's
grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew
that because he never went out or recess during the winter.
His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he
had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't
have a cough, and he didn't have a coat. I fingered the
ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby
Decker a coat!
I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It
looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a
Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter
asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes," I re-
lied shyly. "It's .... for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at
me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag
and wished me a Merry Christmas.
That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas
paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and
Grandma tucked it in her Bible) and write, "To Bobby, From
Santa Claus" on it -- Grandma said that Santa always
insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's
house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever
officially one of Santa's helpers.
Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and
she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his
front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa
Claus," she whispered, "get going."
I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the
present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back
to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited
breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.
Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent
shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.
That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa
Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous.
Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.
I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95.
Anonymous
I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was
just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to
visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There
is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"
My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled
to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.
I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the
truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed
with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. I knew they
were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be
true.
Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between
bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No
Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it.
That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes
me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished
my second world-famous, cinnamon bun.
"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one
store in town that had a little bit of just about every-
thing. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me
ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. 'Take this
money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs
it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and
walked out of Kerby's.
I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with
my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by
myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people
scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few
moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-
dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to
buy it for.
I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my
neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my
church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly
thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and
messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's
grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew
that because he never went out or recess during the winter.
His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he
had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't
have a cough, and he didn't have a coat. I fingered the
ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby
Decker a coat!
I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It
looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a
Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter
asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes," I re-
lied shyly. "It's .... for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at
me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag
and wished me a Merry Christmas.
That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas
paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and
Grandma tucked it in her Bible) and write, "To Bobby, From
Santa Claus" on it -- Grandma said that Santa always
insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's
house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever
officially one of Santa's helpers.
Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and
she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his
front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa
Claus," she whispered, "get going."
I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the
present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back
to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited
breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.
Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent
shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.
That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa
Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous.
Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.
I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95.
Anonymous
I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was
just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to
visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There
is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"
My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled
to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.
I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the
truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed
with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. I knew they
were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be
true.
Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between
bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No
Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it.
That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes
me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished
my second world-famous, cinnamon bun.
"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one
store in town that had a little bit of just about every-
thing. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me
ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. 'Take this
money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs
it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and
walked out of Kerby's.
I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with
my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by
myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people
scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few
moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-
dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to
buy it for.
I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my
neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my
church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly
thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and
messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's
grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew
that because he never went out or recess during the winter.
His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he
had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't
have a cough, and he didn't have a coat. I fingered the
ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby
Decker a coat!
I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It
looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a
Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter
asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes," I re-
lied shyly. "It's .... for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at
me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag
and wished me a Merry Christmas.
That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas
paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and
Grandma tucked it in her Bible) and write, "To Bobby, From
Santa Claus" on it -- Grandma said that Santa always
insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's
house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever
officially one of Santa's helpers.
Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and
she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his
front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa
Claus," she whispered, "get going."
I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the
present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back
to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited
breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.
Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent
shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.
That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa
Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous.
Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.
I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95.
Anonymous
Monday, December 14, 2009
My son...
Oh today has been a very lazy day I have done nothing! we have been just laying around and took a long nap and I am still tired! I went to bed at 2:00 am and was up at 8:00 am since my wonderful son decided to get up and go put in The Polar Express! We didn't even hear him get out of bed and he sleeps in our room!!! We heard a train whistle and that is how we knew he was up!!! OH what I am going to do with that little boy he is getting so big so fast!!!! We got his test scores back and she said that he is below average but they way the score is it by numbers and it is 85-115 and his score is 83 and his other is 77 so I really need to work with him she said she recommends speech therphy but my insurance doesn't cover it unless he falls under a list that they have and he doesn't. So she told me some ideas that my work and I am thinking of some things to do with him. When my husband goes to midnights alot is going to change and we are going to be on a better schedule. I feel like it is my fault that he is behind. Elijah is so smart he is thinker and he trys to figure things out I just feel like a the a horrible mother and that I am not giving my son everything he needs. I just don't know what to do, what if he is behind his whole life? I don't want him to end up like me hating school because he doesnt understand what he is being taught or whatever. I just feel liked i failed him as a mother. so we will see how this year goes and pray that he catches up!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I am ....
I am blessed with so many people in my life that truly care about me and I forget that so I wanted to say thank you to all you of you who love me for me and don't try to change me. You are all amazing people I love you with all my heart!!!!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Hurt....
OK so me and my brother in law really don't get along and we have had our fights well the last one was because we had to buy a car and he felt that we should have saved up and just fixed the car we had but anyways He deleted me from Facebook because my status updated upset him which really hurt my feeling because I didnt think I had done anything so bad to be deleted from his facebook so my husband did not add him because he was upset with him about other things and because he deleted me... well that made me feel good that my husband was standing up for me.. well all of that changed! I was on my husband facebook and he and his brothers are friends again so I am the only one who is not on my brother in laws facebook I am out in the cold and I know some of are think it just facebook but its the whole fact of the matter. I feel so left out now and I am so hurt that my husband did that to me knowing that it has hurt my feeling. I guess I don't count. I thought you should have one person to stand up for you no matter what and i thought that was my husband well i was wrong there! It kills me that he doesn't stand up for me because i left my family for him 5 years ago and i did not speak to my family for 3 years!! I stood up for him and I left to show them that he is the most important person in my life and I would do it again if need be. I was taught once you get married then it is just you and your spouse right you leave your mother and father and become your own family! I am just so hurt I don't think husband would ever do that for me, I guess I just love him more then he loves me... I want my husband and his brother to have a realtionship but I want to be important enough that he would be willing to leave his family for me....
Friday, December 11, 2009
update
well i have not been on in forever and a day. I have had no Internet and so there you go. We just moved back to Yukon and I am so happy about this change in my life!!! we are about to go to the Dr for Elijah speech so i am a little nervous about this all i can think is that i am a horrible mother and i did not teach my son how to speak. well i have more to say but i need to get ready!
Monday, September 21, 2009
So I have not been on in a while been a crazy week! Just had my birthday and it was so much fun. I was feeling good and I got my hair done and my makeup look good! well i just got done looking at the pictures, No amount of makeup or how i do my hair will change how fat i looked in the pictures. sigh...
I dont know what to do anymore when it comes to my weight I am so lost....
I dont know what to do anymore when it comes to my weight I am so lost....
Thursday, September 10, 2009
No Pain No Gain
So i went to the work out and all in all it was really good. Laura was super nice and she showed me how to do everything. I even did like 7 sit ups hahahah me do a sit up i was so proud of my self and then I did like 15 squats wow I cant really move. I am going to go again and really try to stick with it!! Amanda did really good to I was so proud of her. I am glad that we are doing this together. We are suppose to go and pick out something to wear for my birthday on Saturday and it going to be fun to try on clothes with my legs feeling like this!!
So tomorrow I am going to do more sit ups and push ups and we will see how my legs feel on Saturday and I may do some squats. well that is it for now....
So tomorrow I am going to do more sit ups and push ups and we will see how my legs feel on Saturday and I may do some squats. well that is it for now....
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
TODAY.....
so all day so far I have been trying to come up with some sad reason not to go to the Cross fit work out and I am so stupid for wanting to get out of it before I have even tried it. So today is the big day. I am about to get around and get some cleaning done and then drop the hubby off at work and then off to Amanda's for the work out!!! OH BOY!!!!!! well I will let you know how it went....
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
There is always tomorrow!
well I have not been eating all to good the past couple of days, I am not gone over board or anything I just have not mad very good choices, but there is always tomorrow. I am going to go the work out class with the girls and let me tell you I am so sick to my stomach about this, I am so worried that I am going to look stupid or make a fool out of my self. I need to stop being so scared and just do it. I am so tired of fear ruling my life, so i guess I am doing to it to one try and be healthy and also to show my self that I am worth the time. I keep reminding my self that my 2 best friends will be there right by my side and that I am not alone. So we will see how it goes...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
not much
well today is going to be one of those days, i feeling kinda down and i am bored, Thomas is working an extra thing at work and so he wont be home till late so i cant take the car. well i really don't have much to say I have not eaten yet because Thomas is a sleep on the couch and i don't want to bother him....
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sigh
Today is just not a good day for me. All i want to do is lay around and eat cookies ( good thing i have none in the house) I am so bummed out and tired of certain things in my life I just wish i was better at controlling my emotions!!!!! Because upset = me eating everything in site!!!! I have done nothing today, just laid around the bedroom with Elijah and watch TV. Wow I am a great mom I should be outside with him or painting with him or whatever something besides laying around! I keep saying OK at 5:00 p.m I am going to get up and get stuff done It is now 6:30 p.m!!! I have done one load of laundry and the really sad thing is it wont take me long at all to get my stuff done. I guess I am going to have to make sure all my chores are done and all the things I want to do is done before I even look at the computer because when I get on I just waste the day away. I am sadly realizing that I am a horrible stay at home wife and mother! my house should be somewhat clean and the laundry should not be piling up all around where i cant even see the floor and lots not even talk about the dishes!!!!!! I don't know what is wrong with me. I hate where i live so i think that has a lot to play into it. Well I guess instead of gripping about how i need to get off the computer i should really get off the computer and get what i want done tonight!
Chores
1. do at least 4 loads of laundry ( fold and put up)
2. clean my bedroom
3. clean the kitchen
4. pick up all the toys
OK I am not going to get back on until these are all done!!!
Bye.....
Chores
1. do at least 4 loads of laundry ( fold and put up)
2. clean my bedroom
3. clean the kitchen
4. pick up all the toys
OK I am not going to get back on until these are all done!!!
Bye.....
not the best day....
Well I did really good yesterday I had a small bowl of cereal and then for lunch I had a tuna sandwich and then for dinner I went over to my parents house and my mom made one of my favorites meals rolls and gravy and eggs, and let me tell i have made my self sick on that meal before but last night i did really good I had just one rolls and a little bit of eggs. I was so proud of my self!
Today is a different story I went to City Bites again for lunch ( a weakness of mine) and had a big turkey melt and a half of a pumpkin cookie. I just need stop going over there because i over indulge when i go, and then I am mad at my self for the rest of the day. So I am going to do some major cleaning today to help with my guilt. I will do better the rest of the day....
Today is a different story I went to City Bites again for lunch ( a weakness of mine) and had a big turkey melt and a half of a pumpkin cookie. I just need stop going over there because i over indulge when i go, and then I am mad at my self for the rest of the day. So I am going to do some major cleaning today to help with my guilt. I will do better the rest of the day....
Thursday, September 3, 2009
no more late nights...
well today has been a really lazy day, So far all i have had was a bowl of cereal. For lunch I am going to have Tuna and then for dinner I am not sure yet. I am thinking Spaghetti and a salad. I am doing pretty good on portion controls I really feel like I am eating less then before but I dont feel so stressed out like i did with WW, now i did lose weight on ww but i was always worried about going over points or whatever. I think eating off a smaller plate and cutting things in half has really worked for me. But I did do bad last night I had a poptart and milk when i was not even hungry then i felt like crap afterwards. That was the meds diffently I really need to stay away from sugar so late at night. I have notice that i heat more when Thomas is not home then when he is home. So i have decided on night that Thomas has to work his OT job I am just going to go to bed instead of staying up till one in the morning playing on the computer!
I am hoping that wil also help me lose weight...
well that is it for now....
I am hoping that wil also help me lose weight...
well that is it for now....
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Trying something new
well today has been ok not great but not bad either really have not felt to good. Took the baby to the park and walk around a little, then for lunch i had a half turkey melt and a pumpkin cookie, then for dinner grilled cheese that was pretty much it...
So next week I am going to go work out with amanda, amy and molly. I am super nervouse about it but i think it will be good for me and something to do with the girls. I just dont want to make an ass out of my self they do like sit ups and push ups and lunges and all the other stuff i think I AM GOING TO DIE but i really want to lose weight and I guess this is the way to do it! Hell if amanda can try it I can atleast try to do too.
well that is it for the day...
So next week I am going to go work out with amanda, amy and molly. I am super nervouse about it but i think it will be good for me and something to do with the girls. I just dont want to make an ass out of my self they do like sit ups and push ups and lunges and all the other stuff i think I AM GOING TO DIE but i really want to lose weight and I guess this is the way to do it! Hell if amanda can try it I can atleast try to do too.
well that is it for the day...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
working....
So tomorrow I am going to start walking again! I was doing really good last year and I really enjoyed it and well I am going to try really hard to get back to that! I felt like i was calmer and more at peace with things I would go out there and walk and clear my head. I have already lost 5 pounds so i was pretty happy about that! I didn't do very good yesterday we had pizza but i only had 2 pieces where i would have 3 or 4 and then today i had two grilled cheese and then for dinner i had one hot dog and some bake beans, oh and some pudding, and for my "work out" i cleaned the living room and the kitchen and vacuumed. so I feel pretty good. I left my bedroom and bathroom for tomorrow. well that pretty much it.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
nothing much
so i am not feeling good right at this moment!! I have done pretty good today, not sure if i am going to eat dinner and if i do it prob be something small. well i really don't have much to talk about right now so maybe later...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
doing good
well today has been a good day I have done so much better then yesterday. We went Ihop for dinner and that was a huge mistake!! i was so sick afterwards. So no fast food for me for a while till I am use to the new medicine. I have done really good today I have a half a sandwich and strawberries and brocclie. and some crackers for a snack! For dinner i am makeing bbq bork chops and a salad and corn. oh yeah i had a small frozen yorgert also. well nothing much more to say.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sleepy
well today has started pretty early 7:00 am!!!! The hubby had to go to training today so he had to wake early. anyways today is the second day of my eating better and so far i have done really good. For breakfast i had yogurt and granola and raspberries. I took my medicine so I am not sure what is for lunch today prob some crackers and tea. It made me really nausea yesterday so we will see what happens today. I need to go buy a scale and a pregnant test. I may and wait for Thomas to get home so I don't have to take Elijah with me. So last night i had a dream that i got under 200 pounds yeah that seems like forever away!!!! But i know of people who have done it and I know if i can i just really stick with this then i can be one of those peoples!! I want my husband to be proud of me for actually sticking with it. I feel like every time i stop trying to lose weight i just let him down and my family down. and i don't want to do that anymore!
Monday, August 24, 2009
1st day
Well today has gone pretty good so far. Had a half of a sandwich for lunch with 5 strawberries and about 7 carrots with fat free ranch and water. nothing for breakfast the hubby let me sleep in. I am not sure what is for dinner yet just really depends on how i feel. I start a new medicine today and it suppose to make me feel like crappy for a few weeks. I really want lose this weight and i know i can i just have to have will power. I am hoping with the help with my hubby and best friend we can do this! well i am going to go lay the baby down for his nap.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
oh my gosh
So i weighed today HUGE mistake but it was something that i needed to do. It has been months since I even looked at a scale let alone step up on one. well that is wrong i weighed in at the Dr but i shut my eyes. I am the highest i have ever been and I don't know how or why i allowed my self to get this. I want to just crawl into a ball and cry. I know that will do NOTHING for me but at this moment i really don't care.
I know that I will never look like I did ten years ago hell i wont look like i did 5 years ago. I just need to get that scale number down!!! I hate my self right now more then i have in years. I went to the mall yesterday with my best friend and we went in to lane Bryant and i feel in love with all these panties and bras but why even look i asked my self i will hate how i look in them. no clothes i buy will make me feel better it will just cover up what I am trying to hide ( which is doing nothing) and dreaming and wishing all this Fat to go away is going to do nothing.
So starting tomorrow I am done being FAT!!! I will blog everyday about what i eat and how I am doing. I am not brave enough to put my number up here yet but maybe in a few months i will. I have done this before and I KNOW I CAN DO IT AGAIN!!!!! I have so much to lose if i don't lose this weight and i don't want to do that to my family because i am to selfish to get off my ass and do something about it. This is my fault and I need to fix this now!!!!
I know that I will never look like I did ten years ago hell i wont look like i did 5 years ago. I just need to get that scale number down!!! I hate my self right now more then i have in years. I went to the mall yesterday with my best friend and we went in to lane Bryant and i feel in love with all these panties and bras but why even look i asked my self i will hate how i look in them. no clothes i buy will make me feel better it will just cover up what I am trying to hide ( which is doing nothing) and dreaming and wishing all this Fat to go away is going to do nothing.
So starting tomorrow I am done being FAT!!! I will blog everyday about what i eat and how I am doing. I am not brave enough to put my number up here yet but maybe in a few months i will. I have done this before and I KNOW I CAN DO IT AGAIN!!!!! I have so much to lose if i don't lose this weight and i don't want to do that to my family because i am to selfish to get off my ass and do something about it. This is my fault and I need to fix this now!!!!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Done being fat!
So I want another baby so bad but I know that it really is not the right time. We hate were we live and he hates the department he is at but all i can think about is being pregnant and having another little one. I need to lose 40 pounds before we start trying. My son is two now and well I really need to take care of my self better if i want to watch him grow. I hate how I have let my self go and just keep gaining weight. I am so grossed and I hate to look at my self. I am so very lucky to have a husband that finds me sexy and everything but it is hard for me to believe him because I am no where near sexy anymore. I don't mind being plus just not at this size.
I know how to lose weight i have done it before I am just flat out lazy!!! I don't know how I got this way, it makes me sick to my stomach that I am so lazy about my health. Yes I want to look good in clothes and be sexy ect.... but more then anything I want to see my son grow and have a life of his own and have grandchildren and grow old with my husband and I wont get to if I keep shoving my face with cookies. The really sad thing is as I am typing I am think how I wish I had something to snack on. I AM NOT EVEN HUNGRY!!!!!!!! I don't know how I am going to do this but I am, I am done being FAT!!!!!!
I know how to lose weight i have done it before I am just flat out lazy!!! I don't know how I got this way, it makes me sick to my stomach that I am so lazy about my health. Yes I want to look good in clothes and be sexy ect.... but more then anything I want to see my son grow and have a life of his own and have grandchildren and grow old with my husband and I wont get to if I keep shoving my face with cookies. The really sad thing is as I am typing I am think how I wish I had something to snack on. I AM NOT EVEN HUNGRY!!!!!!!! I don't know how I am going to do this but I am, I am done being FAT!!!!!!
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