Not Much...

Today was another good day. We decided to go out and about today to get Thomas somethings he needed like a new handcuff key and some new boots for work, well we got the key but we couldn't find any boot in his size, so i guess we will have to go to Edmond to get him some new boots.
Then we went to the Zoo and checked out the new petting zoo for the kids, it was really nice but for some reason Elijah could care less about the animals he just wanted to read the maps. We didn't stay very long, it was busy with a bunch of schools and Elijah was cranky! He stayed up really late and got up early so he was not in the best mood. Not the best idea but we wanted to do that before Thomas went back to work.
We came home and we took a short nap and then went to the store to get some dinner stuff ( sandwiches). Had a mini melt down, not sure what got into me but I feel pretty stupid right now!
Well that was pretty much my day, How was yours?

I hope you had a great day!!

Choices...

I am trying to figure out if I want to cancel my WW and try and lose weight on my own, with out having to count points learning what I need to eat then, what I want to eat. Me and Food have been going around around for years and I'm so ready to just give up, Then part of me knows I can do this. I know what is good and what is bad for me. I need to learn how to eat foods the right way if that makes any sense? I also want to enjoy my summer with out feeling guilty or ashamed that I had a snow cone with my niece or ate a grilled cheeseburger with my hubby. I have been doing WW long enough to know how to eat food right. I was talking to a friend last night and she has lost weight and she told me that the slower she loses weight the slower it comes back. I believe that!! I can lose 10 pounds and then gain it back with in 2 weeks.
So this is what I have came up with I am done talking about losing weight.I'm just going to do it and change the way I think about food. This was my last " diet" I am going to just watch what I eat and make good choices and enjoy life with out feeling guilty that I didn't count whatever I put in my mouth.
For the first time I am going to do this for me! I have always done it for other reasons, and the reason were never good enough but I am good enough! I am ready to love my body and my self!
It is time for me to make good choices for me and I have a feeling everything else will fall into place...

I wouldnt know what to do...

So today I added a new friend to face book that I had been trying to find for a while now. So she accepted me and so I went and look at her pictures because her profile picture was a wedding picture, I wanted see more. She really doesn't have very many up just 9 and all profile pictures, there a few more wedding pictures and then there is 3 pictures of a little baby boy and it turns out that she had a baby. There was a note on one of them from her and it had said that her baby was in heaven now and how she loved and missed him, from my understanding he had cancer. I just broke down in tears because he is just so little. So I go on to her page to write on her wall and I am scrolling down and on March 23, 2010 she posted that it was her sons 3rd birthday. My heart just broke, I am sitting here tears just flowing away because I wouldn't even know what to do if I lost Elijah, he turns three in July.
He was so young and little and on top of it sick. How do you go on? 2 years with my son is would not be enough for me heck 18 years wouldn't be enough! Not to be able to hear his laugh or have has little hand in mine or to give fishy kisses to him, I just don't know how I would even be able to get out of bed! That crazy little boy that drives me insane some days is my whole world! It begins and ends with him. Sometime I am scared that I love him to much if that make any sense.
I really don't know why I am writing this blog, it just broke my heart and I needed to write about it I guess.

Going to go kiss my sleeping son now...