So I want another baby so bad but I know that it really is not the right time. We hate were we live and he hates the department he is at but all i can think about is being pregnant and having another little one. I need to lose 40 pounds before we start trying. My son is two now and well I really need to take care of my self better if i want to watch him grow. I hate how I have let my self go and just keep gaining weight. I am so grossed and I hate to look at my self. I am so very lucky to have a husband that finds me sexy and everything but it is hard for me to believe him because I am no where near sexy anymore. I don't mind being plus just not at this size.
I know how to lose weight i have done it before I am just flat out lazy!!! I don't know how I got this way, it makes me sick to my stomach that I am so lazy about my health. Yes I want to look good in clothes and be sexy ect.... but more then anything I want to see my son grow and have a life of his own and have grandchildren and grow old with my husband and I wont get to if I keep shoving my face with cookies. The really sad thing is as I am typing I am think how I wish I had something to snack on. I AM NOT EVEN HUNGRY!!!!!!!! I don't know how I am going to do this but I am, I am done being FAT!!!!!!
