New Day...

Good Morning everyone!
Today is a brand new day and a new start. Time to go forward and stop looking back wandering what I could have done to change the out come. I am ready to show the people that care about me how much I love them and how much there love means to me.
I have so many things I am looking forward to this summer. Lets see next week is Eclipse ( yea baby) and then My sons 3rd birthday ( so sad) and then in August we are heading to Vegas!!! See so much fun stuff coming up and now I can really enjoy it!
I am going over to my besties house and we are going to have a small girls night, just veg out and watch When in Rome. Then Sunday we are heading to see Traci for her little girls birthday party.
I also think I may have found a walking partner. An old friend from HS so I am looking forward to that. We go to Vegas in like 6 weeks and so I want to get use to walking. I don't want to kill over from walking!

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend!!!!

A waste of breath....

So for about a year now I have been dealing with DRAMA!! Well I finely emailed the person who I have been having issues with and I laid it out there on the table because she asked what she did for me to be angry with her about, so I answered her. Well I have a feeling it was not what she wanted to hear ( or read), because well she has not email me back and I deleted her and her husband from my facebook ( childish I know) but it made me feel better, anyways I found out that he blocked me and his BROTHER and my bestie!! I am so tired of wasting my emotions on people who don't seem to care about me anymore! I put the ball in her yard and I guess she went over and popped it.
So where do I go from here? Do we go on with our lives and see what the future holds or do I send another email asking why she ignored my other?
The truth is I don't have the energy anymore to keep doing this, like I said in the beginning this has been going on for a year and I am so tired. I have true friends and family that I need to give my energy and time to, instead of dwelling on something I cant change.
So I guess it choice number one, just go on with my life and start a new chapter in my life with out them in it anymore...

pity party...

I am depressed, not beating around the bush about it. I am ready for another baby and I know it will happen in Gods timing and respect that, I am just not very good at waiting. I keep hearing a ticking sound and I feel like I am running out of time. I have been thinking about the baby I lost a lot lately. Just little things like, was it a little boy or girl and would have brown hair like me or be toe head like Elijah, what name would we have decided on. I know that it was not the right time for another baby then, we could barley keep food in the house for us let alone a baby. I see pregnant women every where. I know people thinking I am looking for them but I not, no joke I saw like 7 yesterday at walmart! and lets not get into facebook! I am happy for all my friends who are pregnant. Having a child is a wonderful and amazing blessing to have in your life.
I do know it will happen when it is going to happen and I need to stop stressing and getting sad. I pray that God gives me the will power to handle whatever he throws my way.

My dad...

Happy Father's Day to all the great father's out there!!

When I was younger I never really figured my self as a " daddy girl " because well me and my dad never got along, I always thought he was mean or to hard on me, but now that I am older, I look back on all the things that man has done for me so I and my heart fills up with love for him.
He married my mother when I was like 4 or 5 and he has always treated me like I was his own daughter. It funny because when people figure out that he is my step-dad they are shocked. He use to play checkers with me and cards and I bet if I asked him today he would even play scrabble with me! He could always make me laugh so hard, he is a pretty funny guy!
To this day I know he would always try and help me out when I was in trouble. I am so blessed with an amazing dad!

Thank you dad for everything you do for me and my family, I love you so much!!!