Summer begins...

School is over this week and in the past that use to mean something to me. It meant pool, and BBQ and late nights with my everyone because we were all SAHM but now I have to work! BLEH!!! I am going to miss staying home this summer. We lived in the pool and doing fun things. I am going to miss going to the kids swimming lessons with Bestie and laying out and get sunburned and the complaining about it and then do it all over again two days later. I am going to miss windows down and music up and the smell of coconut on our skin. Stupid Job...
This weekend is the being of Summer with Memorial Day coming up. So we are going to go to the pool and just hang out. On Monday we are going to go see The Hangover Part Two. Which I am soooooooo freaking excited to see, because my love is in it! You know who it is! If not, IT IS THIS SEXY MAN!!




And I am sorry but if you do not share the same feelings prepared to be called stupid,crazy,dumb and a rehab and we can no longer be friends!!

So I am really looking forward to this weekend! Hubby and I are both off on Monday so that makes me super Happy!!

It is 4 weeks till bestie wedding! It is crazy to me that she is getting married sooo soon. We have been talking about this day for a while now and it is going to be here before we know it! I need to practice on her hair and makeup because I want her to look gorgeous on her wedding day!!

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Then After that she is leaving me for a week to go to stinking HAWAII! I hate her! I hate her with all me heart! All I am saying is I better get something AMAZING!! (:

Then when she gets back to will be 4Th of July and then Elijah 4Th birthday. I think we are going to do the Avengers because he is really into super hero's right now.


After that I am not real sure. My little sister and "B" birthday is in August. I am sure my belly will be bigger by then and I am hoping not to big yet because I really dont want to go buy summer clothes when I am not going to be wearing them that long.
Well that is my plan for the summer. What is yours??

Happy but worried....

My life is filled with so many wonderful things and I couldn't be happier in my life. I just cant help but feel some what down in the dumps. I know some of it has to do with my hormones making me feel up and down like I have been feeling and the rest of it is I don't handle change very well, even the best of changes! I just don't do well with any change.

I am so happy with everything that has started to happen in my life and I am seeing Gods work in every ones else life around me.
I am so excited for the baby but I am worried that I will forget about spending time with Elijah and I worry that him and I wont be as close as we are now, I am also worried that me and the baby wont have a bond like me and Elijah have because I will not get to stay home with the baby like I was able to with Elijah.
I am also concerned with Thomas and I, we are doing great and I know adding a baby into the picture can change a couple and it takes time to find each other again between sleepless nights and feedings and everything else that plays into having a new baby in the house and not to mention keeping the 4 year old happy!
When Thomas and I are off everything in my life is off. He is my rock and my strength when I am ready to throw in the towel. I know we can do it, we have done it before I just pray it is not as rocky as last time.

I am also missing bestie... She is getting married June 25 and I am so happy for her and I love seeing all the change that God is doing in her life. It is just hard to feel like I don't belong anymore or feel like I am not needed. I was her go to person and I am not anymore. I miss being able to call her up and go to a movie but I cant do that anymore. I know I sound immature and selfish but for the past 4 years it was just me and her and now, well it just different. I know it will take some time for things to get back to a some what " normal". I know she is on nine cloud and I know the feeling because I was there when me and Thomas we first together. I couldn't ask for a better bestie and she is my person I go to and I want all the happiness in the world for her and she has finely found what I have been praying for.
Jamey is an amazing man and he loves her like she deserves. I know that she hasn't forgotten about me and I know that her and I are still closer then ever, we are more the bestie we have always been sisters at heart. I am so honored to stand next her when she says I do and becomes Mrs. Amanda Wylie...

I am also dealing with a little of jealousy along with everything else I am feeling. I want to have my weekends with my family but I don't get to. Thomas is sleeping while me and Elijah are doing well nothing really. I see on facebook my friends going to the parks, swimming or to museums or the zoo as a family and I miss that so much. Sundays use to be our day. we would go to a movie and dinner or we would have a nice dinner together and take Elijah to get a snow cone and go for a drive. Instead he sleeps and he gets up we eat whatever we get and then he goes and lays back down. His days off are Monday and Tuesdays so I am at work all day. I miss family time, I miss us time. I know this is life of a cops wife but it still sucks...

I know God has his hand on my back to help me from falling down, he understands my feelings and my worries. I am so blessed to have such an amazing Heavenly Father, I will get past all my worries of the all the changes because he will be there to help me all the way and in the end I will look back and say " why even worry? I know he will give me the strength to handle anything he has plan for my family and I...


Psalm 31:24
24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

2 Timothy 4:17
17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me.