not much

well today is going to be one of those days, i feeling kinda down and i am bored, Thomas is working an extra thing at work and so he wont be home till late so i cant take the car. well i really don't have much to say I have not eaten yet because Thomas is a sleep on the couch and i don't want to bother him....

Sigh

Today is just not a good day for me. All i want to do is lay around and eat cookies ( good thing i have none in the house) I am so bummed out and tired of certain things in my life I just wish i was better at controlling my emotions!!!!! Because upset = me eating everything in site!!!! I have done nothing today, just laid around the bedroom with Elijah and watch TV. Wow I am a great mom I should be outside with him or painting with him or whatever something besides laying around! I keep saying OK at 5:00 p.m I am going to get up and get stuff done It is now 6:30 p.m!!! I have done one load of laundry and the really sad thing is it wont take me long at all to get my stuff done. I guess I am going to have to make sure all my chores are done and all the things I want to do is done before I even look at the computer because when I get on I just waste the day away. I am sadly realizing that I am a horrible stay at home wife and mother! my house should be somewhat clean and the laundry should not be piling up all around where i cant even see the floor and lots not even talk about the dishes!!!!!! I don't know what is wrong with me. I hate where i live so i think that has a lot to play into it. Well I guess instead of gripping about how i need to get off the computer i should really get off the computer and get what i want done tonight!
Chores

1. do at least 4 loads of laundry ( fold and put up)
2. clean my bedroom
3. clean the kitchen
4. pick up all the toys

OK I am not going to get back on until these are all done!!!

Bye.....

not the best day....

Well I did really good yesterday I had a small bowl of cereal and then for lunch I had a tuna sandwich and then for dinner I went over to my parents house and my mom made one of my favorites meals rolls and gravy and eggs, and let me tell i have made my self sick on that meal before but last night i did really good I had just one rolls and a little bit of eggs. I was so proud of my self!
Today is a different story I went to City Bites again for lunch ( a weakness of mine) and had a big turkey melt and a half of a pumpkin cookie. I just need stop going over there because i over indulge when i go, and then I am mad at my self for the rest of the day. So I am going to do some major cleaning today to help with my guilt. I will do better the rest of the day....

no more late nights...

well today has been a really lazy day, So far all i have had was a bowl of cereal. For lunch I am going to have Tuna and then for dinner I am not sure yet. I am thinking Spaghetti and a salad. I am doing pretty good on portion controls I really feel like I am eating less then before but I dont feel so stressed out like i did with WW, now i did lose weight on ww but i was always worried about going over points or whatever. I think eating off a smaller plate and cutting things in half has really worked for me. But I did do bad last night I had a poptart and milk when i was not even hungry then i felt like crap afterwards. That was the meds diffently I really need to stay away from sugar so late at night. I have notice that i heat more when Thomas is not home then when he is home. So i have decided on night that Thomas has to work his OT job I am just going to go to bed instead of staying up till one in the morning playing on the computer!
I am hoping that wil also help me lose weight...
well that is it for now....

Trying something new

well today has been ok not great but not bad either really have not felt to good. Took the baby to the park and walk around a little, then for lunch i had a half turkey melt and a pumpkin cookie, then for dinner grilled cheese that was pretty much it...
So next week I am going to go work out with amanda, amy and molly. I am super nervouse about it but i think it will be good for me and something to do with the girls. I just dont want to make an ass out of my self they do like sit ups and push ups and lunges and all the other stuff i think I AM GOING TO DIE but i really want to lose weight and I guess this is the way to do it! Hell if amanda can try it I can atleast try to do too.
well that is it for the day...

working....

So tomorrow I am going to start walking again! I was doing really good last year and I really enjoyed it and well I am going to try really hard to get back to that! I felt like i was calmer and more at peace with things I would go out there and walk and clear my head. I have already lost 5 pounds so i was pretty happy about that! I didn't do very good yesterday we had pizza but i only had 2 pieces where i would have 3 or 4 and then today i had two grilled cheese and then for dinner i had one hot dog and some bake beans, oh and some pudding, and for my "work out" i cleaned the living room and the kitchen and vacuumed. so I feel pretty good. I left my bedroom and bathroom for tomorrow. well that pretty much it.