Words...

Today I learned a good lesson that I needed to learn. Words do really hurtfeelings even men's, I always thought men were always suppose to be tough and strong and really didn't have feelings I know that sounds crazy but it how I always felt. Today I over stepped the lined and really hurt my husband with words out of anger. I wish I could take back what I said but I cant and I really hate my self right now for hurting him the way I did, I am the one person that he should trust not to hurt him. I need to learn how to walk away and come back when I am not so mad.
The one thing I really hate about a fight, it is like everything nice you ever said to the person is erased and it takes everything to get back to where you were at. I am feeling stupid, immature and childish.
I am praying that my husband can truly forgive me for my hurtful words...

Whole Hearted....

Last night I was talking to my best friend and she said something to me that I have not heard in a really long time and you really don't hear it anymore because of how people are these days. We were talking about love and past relationships and our first crush stuff like that and we have had this talk more then once but she said to me " when I love I give my whole heart away".
Aren't we suppose to give our whole heart away when we love someone? I mean your going to trust this person with you life but not your heart? I too have given my whole heart to someone before my husband and yes I got hurt but It was a risk that I took when I was young and stupid and didn't know what I was doing and when I got it back it was bruised and cut but still in on piece. I know that some people wouldn't take that risk again, they would hold a piece back for safe keeping but I didn't when fell in love with my husband, I just handed over my heart like nothing ever happened and yeah there are scars on my heart but my husbands love has slowly erased them for me. That is what a true love does for you, they will take the bad past you had and give you bright future. Don't hold back your heart because your not giving all you have to them and that is not fair to them, they didn't hurt you and your treating them like they did.
Let them erase the scars for you...

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was my wonderful husband birthday and I feel horrible because he ended up taking care of me because I was sick with the a stomach bug. I just cried because it was his day and here I am sick and he is taking care of me. He always has crappy birthday's and this year I was trying really hard that he had a great birthday and a great vacation as well. Last year on his vacation Elijah and I were both really sick. Well what do you know I'm get sick again! We had a game night on Saturday with some of our friends and so we gave him his big birthday gifts which was a gun that he has been dying for and our best friend got him the series The Shield. So gift wise he made out pretty good! but I still feel pretty bad that I am sick. I just wish that he could have a great birthday with out anything crazy happening.

So Happy Birthday my wonderful love! Thank you for taking care of me and our crazy son. I love you so much and praying next year NO ONE WILL BE SICK!!!
I love you!!!