What would you take?

If God came to you and said you can bring one item to Heaven with you what would you take?

I have been thinking about this a lot for some reason and I am really not sure why because I know in Heaven all my treasures are already there, but I keep looking around and wandering " what would I take"...
I have so many items in my home that are important to me, a memory attached to them. I love my pictures, I love them because in the moment it was taken everything was perfect and nothing can change it. I have love letters from my husband that he wrote to me when we were Young and thought we could take on the world, I go back and read them to remind me where we came from and that we have conquered so much more then we ever thought possible. I have Elijah art work on my walls and I love being surrounded by his imagination and his small hand prints. I have these hair clips from my little brother, they say Heather on them and they are pink and I have kept them all these years because that is the only gift he ever bought with his own money. I have a ring I wear everyday from Bestie and I wear it because when I look at it, it makes me think of her and how I want to be a better person. She is one of the most loving,caring and giving women I know.
I have a pink baby blanket up in my closet that Bestie mom got me when I was pregnant with Elijah, she got me two thinking I was going to have a girl. She passed away never knowing Elijah or getting to know this baby. I gave Elijah one of the blankets and I am holding on to the other blanket for this baby... I have small heart shaped jewelry box my mom gave me a few years back and it has cracks and chips in because I broke it, I remember just sitting there crying holding the broken pieces in my hands thinking I will never see her again, now I look at it thinking God is the glue to everything even when you think things can not be fixed.
See what I mean I have so many wonderful items I can choose from, so how do I just choose just one??

I am going to choose my salvation... I choose my salvation because I know God has treasures for me in heaven, these items are my treasures on earth and he knew that we wouldn't be able to choose just one so he has treasures for us waiting and I cant wait to see what it is, Who knows maaybe it will be my pictures,letters,art work,ring and jewelry box...


So what are you taking?

Summer begins...

School is over this week and in the past that use to mean something to me. It meant pool, and BBQ and late nights with my everyone because we were all SAHM but now I have to work! BLEH!!! I am going to miss staying home this summer. We lived in the pool and doing fun things. I am going to miss going to the kids swimming lessons with Bestie and laying out and get sunburned and the complaining about it and then do it all over again two days later. I am going to miss windows down and music up and the smell of coconut on our skin. Stupid Job...
This weekend is the being of Summer with Memorial Day coming up. So we are going to go to the pool and just hang out. On Monday we are going to go see The Hangover Part Two. Which I am soooooooo freaking excited to see, because my love is in it! You know who it is! If not, IT IS THIS SEXY MAN!!




And I am sorry but if you do not share the same feelings prepared to be called stupid,crazy,dumb and a rehab and we can no longer be friends!!

So I am really looking forward to this weekend! Hubby and I are both off on Monday so that makes me super Happy!!

It is 4 weeks till bestie wedding! It is crazy to me that she is getting married sooo soon. We have been talking about this day for a while now and it is going to be here before we know it! I need to practice on her hair and makeup because I want her to look gorgeous on her wedding day!!

!



Then After that she is leaving me for a week to go to stinking HAWAII! I hate her! I hate her with all me heart! All I am saying is I better get something AMAZING!! (:

Then when she gets back to will be 4Th of July and then Elijah 4Th birthday. I think we are going to do the Avengers because he is really into super hero's right now.


After that I am not real sure. My little sister and "B" birthday is in August. I am sure my belly will be bigger by then and I am hoping not to big yet because I really dont want to go buy summer clothes when I am not going to be wearing them that long.
Well that is my plan for the summer. What is yours??

Happy but worried....

My life is filled with so many wonderful things and I couldn't be happier in my life. I just cant help but feel some what down in the dumps. I know some of it has to do with my hormones making me feel up and down like I have been feeling and the rest of it is I don't handle change very well, even the best of changes! I just don't do well with any change.

I am so happy with everything that has started to happen in my life and I am seeing Gods work in every ones else life around me.
I am so excited for the baby but I am worried that I will forget about spending time with Elijah and I worry that him and I wont be as close as we are now, I am also worried that me and the baby wont have a bond like me and Elijah have because I will not get to stay home with the baby like I was able to with Elijah.
I am also concerned with Thomas and I, we are doing great and I know adding a baby into the picture can change a couple and it takes time to find each other again between sleepless nights and feedings and everything else that plays into having a new baby in the house and not to mention keeping the 4 year old happy!
When Thomas and I are off everything in my life is off. He is my rock and my strength when I am ready to throw in the towel. I know we can do it, we have done it before I just pray it is not as rocky as last time.

I am also missing bestie... She is getting married June 25 and I am so happy for her and I love seeing all the change that God is doing in her life. It is just hard to feel like I don't belong anymore or feel like I am not needed. I was her go to person and I am not anymore. I miss being able to call her up and go to a movie but I cant do that anymore. I know I sound immature and selfish but for the past 4 years it was just me and her and now, well it just different. I know it will take some time for things to get back to a some what " normal". I know she is on nine cloud and I know the feeling because I was there when me and Thomas we first together. I couldn't ask for a better bestie and she is my person I go to and I want all the happiness in the world for her and she has finely found what I have been praying for.
Jamey is an amazing man and he loves her like she deserves. I know that she hasn't forgotten about me and I know that her and I are still closer then ever, we are more the bestie we have always been sisters at heart. I am so honored to stand next her when she says I do and becomes Mrs. Amanda Wylie...

I am also dealing with a little of jealousy along with everything else I am feeling. I want to have my weekends with my family but I don't get to. Thomas is sleeping while me and Elijah are doing well nothing really. I see on facebook my friends going to the parks, swimming or to museums or the zoo as a family and I miss that so much. Sundays use to be our day. we would go to a movie and dinner or we would have a nice dinner together and take Elijah to get a snow cone and go for a drive. Instead he sleeps and he gets up we eat whatever we get and then he goes and lays back down. His days off are Monday and Tuesdays so I am at work all day. I miss family time, I miss us time. I know this is life of a cops wife but it still sucks...

I know God has his hand on my back to help me from falling down, he understands my feelings and my worries. I am so blessed to have such an amazing Heavenly Father, I will get past all my worries of the all the changes because he will be there to help me all the way and in the end I will look back and say " why even worry? I know he will give me the strength to handle anything he has plan for my family and I...


Psalm 31:24
24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

2 Timothy 4:17
17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me.

What is in a name?

We are having a hard time coming up with a name for the baby. We just can not come up with something we both like. Elijah was easy to name, his name was picked out when we were dating, so when we found out we were having a boy we just knew. We love the name Elijah, it means Warrior of God, we also loved it because Elijah called fire down from heaven and he never died in the bible. His name is a strong name and has great meaning behind it... Of course his name fits him perfect!

So I have been reading the bible and looking up names and I can not come up with anything. Girls names have always been hard for me to think of because there are not very many girl names in the bible that I like and then also there are so many names over done when it comes to girls names and working at a daycare does not help any!! I know that I have plenty of time but I just want to pick a great name that has a great and strong meaning and that will fit the baby.

I love Caleb, I like Noah (hubby loves Noah), and we were thinking Titus but I am just not sure about that. I also like Ethan, Everette, and Copper but hubby really would like a bible name if it is a boy.

Girl names I like are Lily, Ava, Anna, Lauren and Katie... Just not really loving any of those names.
I also have a problem with worrying about what everyone else wants or likes. So I stress about that.

Whatever we name the baby I just want them to be proud of their name.

So if you have any ideas please let me know what you think!!!

Great News!!!

Hello Everyone!

I have not been on in a while and I have been doing fantastic!!!
I ended up not having my surgery because something else came up! I found out on my anniversary that I was pregnant!!!! I just stared at the test and was in complete shock and then it sank in and I ran out of the bathroom yelling " Thomas I AM PREGNANT!!" and of course I was crying. I was on cloud nine!
I am 9 weeks and I am due December 15,2011.
I have been sick and so tired but it is all worth it in the end. My levels stopped going around 7 weeks so they had to put me on some medicine to help my levels and they don't make me feel any better.
God is good! I finally gave it over to him and stopped worrying and he blessed us even more!
I am so excited and I can't wait to share more with you as the weeks go on!!!

Needs Prayers...

I am really looking forward to this week to be over already! Thursday is Thomas and I 7Th wedding anniversary!! Then on Friday we are going to go to Six Flags with some friends and just have a great weekend. Then Easter we are going to go the lake with my parents and relax, because Monday I am going in to have my tonsils taken out. I have been having a really hard time with this because I am so scared that something is going to go wrong. I know that I am in Gods hands and that he will guide the doctor and everything will be fine, but I still cant help feel like this.
My life is perfect! I have a wonderful husband and an amazing son. Loving parents and wonderful friends! I am not ready to leave them in anyway. The thought of never being held by Thomas or hearing Elijah say Momma I love you, breaks my heart and I can't breath. I enjoy everything about my life. God has truly blessed me with so much love.
I know that I am being crazy and ridiculous but it just scares me. I need this surgery because I am always sick and so I have no option on saying no on having the surgery. So I need you to please pray for me that I can have peace of mind and that everything goes OK next Monday.
I will not be on for a while because I am going to be down for a while after the surgery and apparently in a lot of pain! So I will give an update as soon as I can.
I pray that everyone has a wonderful Easter!!

Take over...

So far 2011 has been a great year and there has been so many blessings in my life this year. I know a lot of changes are about to happen and I know that God has so much planned for my family . We thought that we were going to be going one way, but God had something else in mind for us, we are just not sure what he has in store for us. I am ready to see what he has been planning for us.
The past week has really opened my eyes that I am not in control of my life, but God is. We may have our whole life planned out for us, then God comes along and shows us a better more fulfilling life.
We just have to learn how to truly give up our own wants and step out on faith and know that God will provide us with a life that we could never give our selves.
I really don't handle change very well and I see God changing my life right before my eyes and I have my moments of weakness and question what God is trying to teach me. I know if I would just step back and allow Him to take control then I would be amazed with what he could do for my family.
I am going to try and give up my concerns and let God take over, allowing him to give my family the best life possible.