pity party...

I am depressed, not beating around the bush about it. I am ready for another baby and I know it will happen in Gods timing and respect that, I am just not very good at waiting. I keep hearing a ticking sound and I feel like I am running out of time. I have been thinking about the baby I lost a lot lately. Just little things like, was it a little boy or girl and would have brown hair like me or be toe head like Elijah, what name would we have decided on. I know that it was not the right time for another baby then, we could barley keep food in the house for us let alone a baby. I see pregnant women every where. I know people thinking I am looking for them but I not, no joke I saw like 7 yesterday at walmart! and lets not get into facebook! I am happy for all my friends who are pregnant. Having a child is a wonderful and amazing blessing to have in your life.
I do know it will happen when it is going to happen and I need to stop stressing and getting sad. I pray that God gives me the will power to handle whatever he throws my way.