Change...

Oh I hate change so much! I like good change like new hair, clothes, and weight loss yep pretty much those 3 things because I can control the outcome for the most part. I wrote earlier that I am going to go back to school to become a nurse, well I really started thinking about it and I really don't know if that is the job for me. With Thomas being a police officer and working odd hours, I don't want to be doing the same thing. We have a son and I don't want him to have two parents that work crazy hours. So I decided on being a dental assistant and then work my way up to being a dental hygienist. I am scared to DEATH!!!! I was not a good student in High School and the truth is I really don't have much faith in my self. I put on a big mask everyday to make people think I have it together but I really don't. The past 3 days I have had nothing but panic attacks, heart burn and I have been tearing up at the thought of going to school. It scares me that much. It was easier for me to become a mother then it is for me to go back to school. So much is happening right now and I just don't know if I can handle all of it, I have to get a job like tomorrow and my husband is really looking for another one and me going back to school and I keep trying to close a door on a certain part of my life but there is a door stop in the way that is glued to the floor. I know God is in control and that when he closes one door he always unlocks another one or two...

Now I just need to figure out which door is the right one to open...