Heartbroken...

Well I am just heartbroken and I cant seem to get over it and move on. I wrote earlier I about not being pregnant, well I went to the Dr. to double check and I was praying that the test was wrong but it wasn't. I just sat there holding back my tears as the Dr. is telling me that it is all the change that I am going threw. New med and eating better and working out, so it is throwing my body out of whack or whatever. So here I am sitting at my moms house holding back more tears because the Dr. was right about starting this weekend, I have cramps from hell and I already start spotting. I was stupid to be holding out like this. She said to just write down when I start and end and count days and blah blah blah and that in a few months we will see what we can do about getting me regular or something like that, I tuned her out after a bit. January will be a year since we started trying.
Thomas is being super sweet trying to say that it may not be my fault that it could be him but I know it is me, I am the fat girl, I am the one who isn't regular, I am the one with cyst. I look at people who don't even want children and they are having them left and right and it just makes me so mad!!!
I know I am being a baby and that I shouldn't be upset because I have a amazing son, it just really sucks to realize that my dream of having a full house of children may not come true and that is just really hard to swallow.