So I have a enemy like everyone does but mine is taking over my life and I don't know how to get it to go away. It is something we need to survive but I have allowed it to come something more then that. My enemy is a lot of peoples enemy, it is just that dangerous. FOOD!!! I have been dealing with this my whole life. I have tried dieting and even thought about surgery but I know that is not the answer. I don't know how I have let it get this bad! When I was in High School people use to say horrible things about me and my weight and I believed them. I look back at old pictures and I don't understand why they were so cruel to me with the name calling and the puts down I wasn't thin by any means but I wasn't a house either! But now I look at my self and I cant stand what I see. I know I will never be a model skinny and I don't want to but I would love to go out for the day and not worry about my hips bothering my that night or wear a skirt or shorts and not get the " Chub Rub" and if your a big girl you know what that is! My life is all about what to eat. I spent $12 on 5 cupcakes and they weren't evening that good! oh and last week I had on of those Caramel Frappa things from McDonald's everyday!!! I just hate how food takes over my mind! It is like I have this voice in my head that keeps talking about food and it wont shut up until I eat whatever it is talking about and I hate not having control over this, it taunts me all the time! I was doing really good on Weight Watchers and I really like doing WW because I can still eat good things but it is all in portions. I jumped off the wagon for some reason! This is something that I hate about my self, I give up on my self so easy, I just give up!
I want to lose this weight, I also know that this is not going to be easy! So I am going to climb back on the wagon and strap my self down. I know that I am going to have bad days but I am done giving up on my self! I am going to be honest with my self for now on and I am going to stop with these stupid reasons of why i cant do this! The truth is I never finish what I start! I wanted change for my self this year and damn it I am going to do it for once in my life!!!
I am going to need support and help through this and I am so blessed with an amazing husband who has always loved me for me and with some awesome family and friends who I know will help me and cheer me on!
I am ready to win this fight!!!!
No doubts, Heather! You've got love by your side, it just needs more support by yourself and it's done!:) It's just less than a month that I follow your blog and I perceive you have such a soul! "Don't stop believin'" in yourself, Heather, like Glee club says! kisses.
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