List...

 I was reading my last blog I posted and I will have to admit that I am really hard on my self more then I really should be. I make my self out to be this HUGE women who cant walk! Which is not the case at all. I work out 6 days a week and I have tried to run but I really Hate how everything jiggles and moves when I run so I decided not to do that for right now.
  So the point of this blog is to list a few things I like about my self and I don't want you to think I am self absorbed but I am tired of hating and judging myself. I am always worried that all these people are looking at me and thinking all these horrible things, but this week I learned that is not the case at all.
 My list...

1. My eyes. I have to say that I have great eyes! I have awesome eye lashes that I have been blessed with.
2. My smile. I would have to thank my mother for my smile and my mother is a beautiful women!!
3. My legs, I really don't mind being short it is who I am and there is nothing I can change about that, but for a big girl I have nice legs.
4. I like my curves of my hips and butt. I like my pants fitting me and my husband is happy I am not all stick (:
5. My boobies!! I am glad to have a good set of girls, they are a bit saggy right  now from having kids but nothing a little nip and tuck wont fix. I am just glad I can where shirts and feel it out like it is meant to be.
6. Last things is my feet, I know it is crazy but I think they are perfect not to big not to small and I like my heart tattoo I have on my foot.

I have things I need to work on and I am working hard and I know in time my list will get longer. I am going to try and work on the thoughts I have about myself and stop comparing myself to others because I am my own person and I have my own looks.  I will never be tall so why wish for something that wont happen, I will never have small a small butt or hips but neither did Marylin Monroe and she was of the sexiest women alive. The more I accept who I am then the happier I will be and the sexier I will feel!!!

I want to be...

I want to be beautiful,gorgeous,breath taking and sexy. Is that to much to ask for?? I don't think so!
  Last night I was laying next to Hubby who was in a deep sleep and I was just in aw of him. He has gotten better looking with age. He has a perfect nose and his lips mm mm and if you know me you know what I am thinking! He has lost some hair but he shaves his head so you wouldn't know . He has grown out a beard and it just make him look better and there is a bit of grey in it ( which he doesn't believe) but I find it sexy because it just shows we are growing older together.  When we first met he was a little heavy and wore this big glasses and he was quite. Then he met me, this crazy loud girl who offered him her piece of pizza that she didn't want ( true story) He looked at me like I was crazy. It took over a year for us to get together but we were friends in the mean time.
  Anyways I always dated bigger guys because well not very many " buff" guys would even give a second look. I was this short, heavy set girl with big boobs and a big mouth to match and not very many guys like how I how spoke  my mind Till Hubby. I had some confidence, and I like how I looked to a point and I wasn't mean to my self, but now I look at my self and I truly cant stand what I see. I have more stretch marks then a road map, my boobs are saggy and my milk will not dry up and lets not even talk about my ass.
   Almost 10 years later I am married to a very sexy fit man who has the love of working out the blessing of dropping weight with no problem he gets better looking while I just become soft and saggy. He has no idea how good looking he is, he gets hit on ALL THE TIME!!! Thank goodness he doesn't notice.
    I am back on Weight Watchers and I am at the gym 6 days a week and I am tanning ( in hopes to hide some of the stretch marks). I have lost only oh 6 pounds in a month, which I am not very happy about. I have so many things I want to do with him and the kids but I cant till I lose this weight. I want to go to Vegas and go backpacking and do a Zip Line and maybe sky dive. I want to learn how to scuba dive and the list goes on and on. I want our life full of fun!!
  I just want to be beautiful for my self and for him. He doesn't get that there are times he walks in and I cant breath because he looks so sexy and the way he holds him self now. He has come a ways since the first time I met him. No wander he gets hit on.
  I just feel beautiful, gorgeous,breath taking and sexy. I  want to stop him in his tracks like he does me, I want to catch him staring at me or cant keep his hands off of  me. I want him in aw of me...

Grateful...

About six years ago around this time I recommitted my life, I was lost and hurting and I just thought I was worthless and I was doing wrong and not caring. little did I know it was something I had to go through to learn and truly understand the forgiveness of God.
    I still try to go my way and think I am in control of my life but he has patience for me and allows me to realize on my own that  He knows what my heart and soul needs, not what I think I need.
 I am a sinner and I try to to do right but I still stumble and fall but by with the help of my Savior I am able to get back up and keep walking.
 I am grateful to be a sinner, if I wasn't, If I were perfect and did no wrong then I would not get to know the love of God and my Savior. He died for ME and My Sins! Since I am a sinner I get to know the unconditional love of my Heavenly Father.
  How amazing is that? To know you will always be loved and to have hand to guide you and pick you up when you are broken and hurt. He died for us so we would  know what true love is.
 In the past few months I have learned how to really pray, to open my heart and to actually listen to what he is trying to tell me. I never thought I would be where I am at right now in my life, however I am completely happy and my heart is full of joy and love because of the road he has set for my family. He is in control and I know he will always provide my needs for my family and friends.
  I am sinner and I am grateful to be one so I can tell other people about my stumbles and falls and how I have a God who is always there to help me back up and dust me off and show me the path with less pot holes to fall into.

Annoyed...

I have been trying to work on my blog, however for some reason it is not working the way I would like. So I am annoyed! My backgrounds are not fitting the right way and so I am about to throw my computer... OK not really but that what I want to do. So hopefully I can figure out what the deal is and get it the way I like it.
 OK I am done venting!!

UPDATE....

Hello Blogging world! I have been MIA for a bit and I am just now getting back on. Things have been crazy in my life the past few months but everything has work out according to God's plan for us!
 Piper is now 5 months and she is a hoot! She is so different from Elijah but she is so funny and she loves to smile and laugh. Elijah is going to go to big school next year! He is entering Kindergarten!I am so happy for him! He loves to learn and he is so smart I know he will love school! Thomas is no longer a police officer. A decision we both came to when things were about to get worse then what we could handle. Things were very rough and I am not sure how we got threw it but he is now in the oil field and he loves it! I have not seen him this happy in a very long time! He is gone 8 days at a time and home for 4 days off. I know this is crazy schedule and funny enough it works for us. I like missing him and wanting him, because when he is home it a little piece honeymoon every time (: OK not every time but you get what I am saying. Since God provided us with a better paying job, I am able to stay home with the kids again and I couldn't be happier!
 Summer is approaching fast and I am ready to hit the pool with Bestie and the kids! She is doing great by the way! Married life has treated her very well. She is so busy now it is crazy. We use to be with each other all the time but now we have to share each other a little more! We have changed and grown together in the new lives God has given us.
  All in ALL life is great! With a few bumps and turn around but without those we wouldn't appreciate the perfect moments we are lucky enough to have! That is it for now! I will be working on updating my page and get back into what I love most, Sharing our life with you!

Reba....

I have had so much on my mind that I want to blog about, from my salvation to the baby and I will get to those but right now I want to blog about this lady!





Yep REBA!!!!! I was blessed enough to go and see her this weekend and let me tell you I couldn’t stop smiling or dancing! I was in the third row center stage!

My bestie was right there next to me!


I never thought I would see her in concert but for my birthday bestie and very much to my surprise got me tickets! I was so excited I cried and almost chocked on my food! I think that was the best reaction I have ever had and it was so sad that bestie didn’t record me like she usually does when she gives me birthday gifts. She still gets a kick out of my reaction from last year when she gave my Tyler Perry tickets and she still replays it and laughs.

It was by the far one of the best concerts I have ever been too! Reba was my very first tape I ever had I got it for Christmas when I was about ten I want to say. I ran that tape nonstop, dancing in my room and singing every song by memory, being at the concert took back in my room singing with a hair brush.
The best part was Piper was just rocking along with me!! It was an amazing night and I will never forget it!!!

Thank you My Amanda Panda for one of the best gifts!!!!
You made my dream come true! I love you more!!!!

Understanding...

Yesterday I was on yahoo news and I read that this trainer was becoming obese so he could understand what it was like to lose weight. I guess he has always been fit or whatever and so he thinks if he gets fat then he could understand how hard losing weight is.
This really bothers me because I don’t understand why people are always trying to understand overweight people. Why are overweight people so interesting to the world? Like when they do a show about a skinny person in a fat suit. They want to know what it is like to be fat for a day. So they can say they understand how overweight people feel. Understand my foot!!
Hell yea it is hard to lose weight if it wasn’t then we would all be skinny and fit and do you think people become overweight on purpose? I am going with NO! I didn’t plan on being overweight, not something you plan it just something that happens over the years.
What this trainer doesn’t realize that it not about losing the weight it about saying no to the food. People out there have an addiction to food and if they could stop eating they would. That is not the case with all people but most of them.
I let life get away from me and I forget to eat and then I eat whatever is around me and sometimes it not healthy. I don’t sit around and eat all day and gorge myself, before I became pregnant I would go to the gym, walk and do Zumba. Right now I am enjoying being pregnant and I am eating pretty much what I want and guess what I haven’t gained any weight!! I have every plan to get back in the grove of things and going back to the gym and eating better after she is born.
The point of this blog is, how about trying to get to know the person based on the person not because they are overweight and you want to know why they are or you want to prove to yourself you could lose the weight or whatever. Hopefully this trainer will get his understanding he is looking for and it will make him a better trainer.